The "Not-So Emergency" Post

Just when did people get so stupid? Reported on the BBC News website today, the number of 'prank' phone called to 999 is increasing, but for all of the wrong reasons: an incorrect pizza topping, not being able to use the toilets (called in by a priest of all people), and a whole catalogue of offences.

Maybe I missed the '118 118' adverts that offered up the alternative '999' number for all those trivial questions and complaints you may have. The real question is not why they are calling '999', but more 'why aren't they using their computers'?

We all know that Google can answer all of our questions about opening times of the local chemist and the phone numbers to call when your pizza topping just isn't quite right. Reports last week claimed that the EU were in talks for setting up a European-wide emergency response number - but judging by these reports, can you imagine the types of calls that will be made to this number?

And maybe more embarrasingly the requests from the UK callers will be? Perhaps we need an advertising campaign to inform of the uses of '999' and highlight the differences in the Emergency Services and the AA and the '118' boys.

Change We Need

So, that was Christmas 2008.  Over and done, you wait all year for it to arrive, then you get up, open gifts, eat your traditional lunch and then it’s over in a flash…..mixed up with a selection of Christmas television you’ve seen all before.

And then, the time comes to start thinking about the date changing once more and the New Year beginning.  A time to make promises to ourselves that will be long forgotten come March at the very latest.  But not for me this year….this year will be different: a time for true change and self improvement.

Shortly President George W. Bush will vacate the White House and President Elect Barack Obama will be sworn in – along with his mantra of “Change We Need”.  Therefore, it is apt that the year 2009 holds so much promise for change, and it seems a shame not to continue the theme in my own resolutions and personal objectives. 

Hopefully the “Credit Crunch” will be ended and the economic climate will once again be lifted back to levels where the term “credit crunch” no longer exists as ‘phrase of the year’.  Jonathan Ross will return to our airwaves, refreshed and hopefully still as funny and entertaining as he was before the whole ‘Sachsgate’ affair that was blown all out of proportion.  Microsoft will release “Windows 7”, in the hope that it will return the companies Operating System back into the hearts and minds of the technology crowd.  Many other things will occur and change in 2009 of course and hopefully many of them will be positive. 

It is with these thoughts, that I’m thinking about the objectives I hope to achieve during the course of “the year of change”, I still have a number of days to conclude them all – and then when the clock strikes midnight on 31st December 2008, I’ll be working my way forwards to achieving them all – and I personally can’t wait.  It is after all, “Change We Need”.

Press "Play" and start reading.....

Ask anyone what their favourite TV game show is and they’ll give you a whole load of different answers from “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” to “Family Fortunes”, from “Deal or No Deal” or “The Price is Right”. One of the less likely answers you’d expect to hear is “Countdown”, the word-jumble contest adored by pensioners and the unemployed (thanks to its mid-afternoon schedule).

It was the very first show on Channel 4 and still remains on the channels programming schedule today. But here’s the best thing – everyone has seen it at some point – and due to its pure simplicity, I can guarantee that everyone has played along with the show as you fight the urge and temptation not to be sucked in and deeply involved in trying to think up longer, cleverer words than the contestants on the show.

The best thing about the show however, is you can watch a couple and then completely forget about it and not watch it for months on end – then at some point when your not at work on that particular day, you’ll flick the TV channel to 4 and it’ll be on – and you’ll remember exactly how to play along and you’ll get just as involved as you were the very last time you saw it.

Forget about who hosts the show and forget about the ultimate layout of the show (apparently there are a number of rounds the contestants have to get through, culminating in quarter, semi and final round for the “Countdown Champion” – although no one ever thinks about this as they watch it!) Vorderman’s (the math whiz that at one point people found deeply alluring and attractive – for some reason?), last show is this Friday – after that, who knows how they’ll replace her (possibly a blonde with a calculator), but one thing for sure, it won’t affect the game show.

It may not be the nations favourite game show, but its one of the longest lasting – so I say to Channel Four, keep it on our screens, never change the format, keep the annoying ticking ‘Countdown’ music and keep it in that mid-afternoon schedule where everyone eventually happens to find it and becomes totally engrossed.

Aunt-Virus

These last two days I’ve been forced into action to remedy two different PCs from two different major computer virus threats. And fortunately, twice I have been able to successfully remove these threats manually using my “Virus Sapping Skills” acquired way back in the early part of my career removing adware and other such threats, before Anti-Virus software got really clever and detected and removed the threats without user intervention.

Over the past five years I can only recall one particular nasty virus that claimed only one of the 500+ machines under my management. Of course, these machines were subjected to their fair share of virus threats that were successfully detected and quarantined or deleted – but in five years only one virus managed to make it through and cause me problems. Since changing jobs last year, I have been appointed the “main man” for all things virus related – whilst I gladly accept this challenge, I am not so glad that I have inherited a solution based on an elderly version of Symantec Anti-Virus, with my first project being to upgrade and deploy the latest re-branded Symantec Endpoint Protection.

Deployment of the software was easy and I even managed to understand how the policies were formed and was able to quickly implement a fairly secure anti-virus policy, delicately balanced and traded against some of the less capable PCs within our organisation. Five or six months on, I’m still fighting with the software for it to detect the threats and remove them automatically – its seems that the software has no problems finding most of the viruses, but does have a problem removing them without the need for the machine to be rebooted, before the files can be successfully removed from the system. This has lead to a number of nasty viruses being present on our systems and with me having to closely monitor the whole security suite closely and with varying levels of success to combat the worst the web has to offer.

Where did it all go wrong? Why can’t anti-virus software go back to work like it did in the olden days when it would do things “automatically” for you, without vast amounts of attention and resources to manually manage the security environment?

The "Almost" Best of British....Comedy

Tonight, on ITV, they are showing the "British Comedy Awards".

A night to celebrate the cream-of-the-crop of Britain's comedy talent and recognise those individuals and popular shows that make the nation giggle. Unfortunately, two of the biggest stars in UK comedy have been shunned thanks to their BBC Sachsgate "scandle" earlier in the year,...I am of course referring to the talented Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross.

Prior to the "incident", these two would have been celebrated and rewarded accordingly with the comedy accolades their deserve. Unfortunately, it is not to be, they have been scrubbed from the nominations and therefore will not be winning this year.

A tragedy, especially considering that "Friday Night with Jonathan Ross" is shown on the BBC Worldwide channel to numerous countries, including America, where the top Hollywood stars previously queued up to appear on the show and Russell Brand continues to parade his British Comedic talent in front of American audiences on "Comedy Central" and all of the big US Talk-Shows.

Britain take note - if we cannot recognise the exported talent, then it undermimes the whole point of the award shows. Even if these two stars were continued to be nominated, and yet not win, then at least we've acknowledged their contributions to UK comedy.

UPDATE: It seems I may have been a tad early in my post and Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross ARE still in the nomination running.

UPDATE 2: Russell Brand has just won "Best Comic Stand Up", I guess justice has prevailed and the British Comedy Awards still recognises good comedy regardless - and Bravo for doing so! ....I'm off now, having learnt my lesson not to blog on predicting future events!

F1: Former Honda Talent Pool

My first post on Deadly Revelations about a sport very close to my heart - Formula One.

Unfortunately, it isn't a positive post, but the demise of the Honda Formula One Team (due to economic conditions in the car buying market), and their choice to pull out next season plunges some of the biggest names in F1 into confusion.

Former Britain's favourite (yet, still my British favourite), Jenson Button may be left without a drive for next year which in my opinion, that would be absolutely tragic for such a strong naturally talented driver, who was due to flourish with the rules changes bring brought in for next season. Rumours are that Toro Rosso have offered him a drive, but ever the team player, it seems Button is clinging on for the sale of the team. Even a season at Toro Rosso still leaves question marks over Button's future in a top team. For a driver who put so much faith and belief into Honda becoming a front runner, its bitter that he's been left with so few options at the very last minute.

Rubens Barrichello's career in F1 is effectively now over. The top teams haven't been looking at him since his depature from Ferrari and even the smaller teams are now hiring younger, fresher talent. Even Honda were considering replacing him with young Brazilian sensation Bruno Senna - who I was really looking forward to seeing in F1 - not just because of the return of the 'Senna' name to F1, but because I was spell bound by his drives in the GP2 races last year and his determination to win. It now seems that this young talent will be forced to take another 'learning year' in GP2.

If the enormous task to find a buyer for the Honda team, then aside from Jenson Button, Ross Brawn the former Ferrari Mastermind strategist (behind all but 2 of Michael Schumachers wins), is the biggest question mark over what happens next to his career in F1. There's no doubt that his talent for car design would have catapulted Honda to the front of the race and as Honda F1's team manager would have guided the team to certain victories. IF he can pull off the impossible and find a buyer for the team, his winning credentials will be proven once and for all. Failing to find a buyer however begs the question - where next for Ross Brawn? I would love to see him return to Maranello and to the Ferrari fold, however that may just be a distant dream, instead he may retire completely from Formula One and go fly fishing instead.

Zune, Zune, Zune!!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2008/dec/05/barack-obama-microsoft-zune

I really like how every part of Obama's technology preferences are being discussed, his MP3 player, his continued want of a mobile phone when he takes office, his Blackberry, what type of computer he uses, whether he'll be allowed email, that he's posting his speeches on YouTube - every aspect! And we're all clinging on waiting for the next 'deadly revelation' his technological preference is.

CCTV: I'm Watching You

They say Britain has the most CCTV cameras per person than any other country, leading some to say that we are the most ‘watched’ nation on Earth. Whilst this may or may not be entirely accurate, it does seem that more and more cameras are appearing – not necessarily where you might expect them, in public places operated by specialist security firms, but around our houses, for the personal security camera.

Go into any Maplin, Screwfix, B&Q or other similar store and you are likely to find that they offer for sale some sort of security camera that you can simply drill to an outside wall and plug straight into the back of your TV so you can enjoy your favourite ‘real-life soap opera’ happening right outside your own door. What are becoming more popular however are cameras that are able to record footage and perform what seems like an endless list of other tasks.

You can plug these straight into your redundant VCR, to a dedicated storage device or record directly onto your PC’s hard disk. You can stream recordings to your mobile phone every time your cat wanders in front of the camera, activating the motion detection unit. The real question is, why?

If you were being burgled, surely the robbers would steal your PC or recording equipment. If this was sent your mobile phone, you could only call the police – the footage wouldn’t be any good. If you catch someone stealing your car, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to indentify them from grainy footage (especially if you purchased your equipment from Maplin, Screwfix, B&Q, etc).

We may be obsessed with cameras, they may make us feel safe....but really, do we need them?

On-Demand Delivery

Once again it ‘tis the season’ and the Christmas festivities’ are just around the corner, I hope your counting down with your advent calendars and enjoying that sweet chocolate in the shape of your favourite seasonal icons. With the continued demise of the high street and the convinces of ‘online shopping’, this got me thinking about ‘delivery’.

Almost every site offers the same three delivery options:

• “Free”, between three and five days before arrival of your items
• 
  
  “First Class”, between two and three days after your order has been made
• 
  
  “Guaranteed”, either next day pre or post morning or afternoon delivery

The most popular items ordered on the World Wide Web are CDs, DVDs, computer games, etc. And judging by the adverts on my TV, the most popular fast food delivered to your door is pizza, which is why there is a Dominos Pizza outlet in most towns, allowing them to deliver your order within the hour or your money back.

Interestingly enough, in most towns/cities there is a CD retailer, a DVD store and a computer games outlet – if the web companies or the owners of these large chains stores were smart, they could either team up or create their own local delivery services taking orders directly off the web and aiming to deliver (in-stock), items within the hour perhaps charging a small fee for “local on-demand delivery” between core hours and a “excess” charge for deliveries made during “unsociable hours”, very much like the Dominos Pizza delivery model (I’m not saying you should get your CDs/DVDs for free if outside of the hour).

It would make online shopping almost ‘on-demand’, very much like the internet on-demand download services, it would boost the high-street stores and combine the strengths of physical store and online transactions. Jobs would be created in the delivery sector and the burden of delivering heavy packages taken away from the Royal Mail (they could even strike deals and team up with retailers to boost the ailing Post Office businesses).

There would be an environmental saving too, delivering items from ‘local areas’ rather than shipping items up and down the country between warehouses and then onto the actual destination address (the warehouse-to-warehouse deliveries are already made to the high-street outlet anyway). And you wouldn’t necessarily have to wrap up a CD/DVD in a cardboard box – simply slap an address sticker on it and send it out the door on the back of a moped.

The down side? Well, I can’t think of any....but then again, it is my idea!